chapter anew

i'm resigning from being a myspace musician. everything i do now is for myself. i'm making all my songs downloadable on my myspace and i will no longer record new songs. this chapter of my life is indefinitely closed. i will be performing at the shows i agreed to do now but will no longer take any offers.

i'm sorry.

over 300 people on my buddylist. 300 "buddies." i think it's pathetic how i can't single one person out of that buddylist and have a meaningful conversation with them to release some stress and vent. you know, real friends. i am really depressed, but this moto perpetuo has to stop somewhere.

Columbia

What one doesn't know will eventually be found out.

It's came to my attention that in some degree, everyone fronts.

horizontal dropouts are a way of life

no joke.

well i guess this will be my first real entry in a while. my little cousins and my sister are in my room, so i'm bumping my current blogspot song on my stereo headphones my girlfriend got me :]

anyway, ...

ah, it's just real hard to write entries anymore. lol

but i can honestly say that fs is officially bornnnnn

merry xmas

this winter break has been the best in a while.

i guess i'm guilty til proven innocent.

revised christmas

well for one thing, i'm still going to that lakers game even though they've been suckin.

7-keto is out of the wishlist. however, a baby bottle blue usb condenser mic is added. i also want to get an iMac now and logic. i'm not a cheap beggar.

napp's been in my life lately. wtf. no use for blogging anymore.

since i don't drink anymore

welcome back welcome back welcome back.

since everyone loves quotes

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs

I reflect upon this quotation with contradiction emotions. Bittersweet.


It's not beginning to feel like christmas for me. I don't know why. I'm actually rather unhappy. But i'll stop complaining.

fuck it

i'm just doing my thing. balls out. no regrets.

everybody is steppin up

their f*cking game, and i'm getting hella merked, nah mean? i don't need pro tools or reason. all i want is my LOGIC.

anyway, i realized that i should be writing more since i have so much time on my hands. I tend to lose weight after eating a lot in one sitting if for the past previous days i haven't eaten shit. it's weird how that works.

i laughed out loud

which each victory pacquiao brings to his homeland, he records a new song.

they consecutively get better.

NEWS FLASH

Hard work and, brace yourself, STUDYING actually gets you the grades you want.

"Someone's gonna have a merry christmas this year."

sidenote:
I realized that the song i up on this was made before the terms, "swag," and, "steez" were popularized.

Not too Shabby.

So today marks the beginning and an ending to my speech and debate career. Nominated to do an exemplary or cultural artifact speech after week one of school, I ignored the invite to be part of the CSULA forensics (forensics being the the speech and debate branch, not the csi kind) because I wasn't free on friday and saturday of the three day tournament that I had just competed in. Being part of a competitive group isn't new to me; I actually thrive in competition. I am hardly motivated to do anything if what I am about to do has nothing to do with some kind of goal, prize, reward, etc. With that being said, I did, and kinda reluctantly, joined for the last day of the tournament to represent CSULA as a novice persuasive speech orator, and I can honestly say that I liked today and what happened.

To reiterate, I like being in competitive groups because unlike being in a traditional clique or social group, one is provoked to reach a higher echelon of self-actualization, and in my case today, the higher echelon of self-actualization for me was through speech and debate (and as you, the reader, can tell through the way I'm writing this entry, I'm still in competition mode). Warming up with the team reminded me a lot of my high school years warming up with the drumline in a giant arc, but today, we were in a bolus, cramped in a tiny classroom. However, a few moments into warm-ups, this bolus conglomerated into an organized unit, united as one, screaming at the top of our lungs, "WE ARE LA. THIS IS MY PLACE. THIS IS MY TIME. YOU WILL REMEMBER ME." The recollection of this right now just gave me goosebumps.

The tournament was organized in four rounds. Preliminary eliminations, then quarterfinals, then semi-finals, and finally...finals. I felt pretty, in the words of hardcore forensics enthusiasts, "iced," for my first round, which I later found out during our 2nd postings got me 1st place in my round with a score of 93.2something. Off to quarterfinals I go..

A seemingly long 45 minute break ensued in which I joined with fellow team mates Yurie and Melanie to get some scones at the starbucks CSULB had in their library. Feeling overly confident, I let my egotism get to me, and I didn't do too hot at my 2nd round. I noticed that the competition got a lot better than the previous round. I guess they really weeded out the truly novice of the novice division, lol.

After my quarter-finals round has ended, this is when things got a little bit rushed, but this worked to my advantage. With the speech still fresh in my head, and discovering that despite my bad performance during 2nd round, I still managed to get into finals with my 3rd place finish scoring at 89.something. There was only two minutes to get to next the lecture hall all the way on the other side of campus. I guess the adrenaline really helped, since I butchered my last round.

It was a 2 hour wait until the finals posting went up. I didn't make it. I placed 13th overall. I placed 2nd in my quarterfinals by a ridiculously small margin of .0something. I'm not too disappointed though, I did very well my first shot in an atmosphere that is foreign yet eerily familiar to me. Again, I felt the camaraderie of teamwork, but these feelings of nostalgic value come and go too often, and I doubt that I'll be doing another gig like this in the near future.

To my teammates:
We are LA. This was our place. This was our time. We ARE remembered. We earned the bronze. At least we beat UCLA, yeah?


Notes:
[+] just because you're filipino, do not think you're cool with me
- do not be mad because i did better than you and this is my first time and you've been doing this your whole time at a community college
- don't compare your parliamentary speech with mine because we're in two different fields of focus
- and do not give me "constructib creetisism" right after you insult me by saying my speech was too "showy" and "attention whore-esque." there's a reason why the audience stayed awake during my speech and you heard snores
- work on your accent, fob ass bitch

Punches and Punchlines

So, how much are they paying you?
Paying me for what?
For babysitting that beer.

I was actually very comforted to know that despite what changes you go through in yourself, Riverside will always remain Riverside. Couldn't help but feel that same warmth. I also enjoyed looking at the familiar Riverside night sky, a sight rare in smog congested downtown LA. There's things to love about both places, but Riverside definitely feels like home.

Downing soymilk during beer pong was the hallmark of the night. That and watching that white girl grind on that awkward dumb dick made this party worth the 30 miles.

Today reminded me on why I loved playing shows. The people you meet. Because of its low attendance, today just felt like a rotated jam session, where everyone got a fair share on sharing their musical talents. I loved every second of it.

Congratulations Pacquiao, too.

Speech and Debate representing CSULA tomorrow. Fuck me.

you like, i like it.

thoughts i woke up to

WIth so many birthdays and outings last year, how did i find money in pocket or bank account each time we went out? This is also considering that tuition is 20x more expensive at the r.

Ephedrine and caffeine tablets are a must this winter. I can't roll on yohimbe and green tea extract alone.

Wow, next quarter's classes are beast. Bio200b, Phil250, Chem151. No cookie cutter bullshit last or next quarter. God.

MSMC, CSULB, SFSU, SJSU, SDSU, UCI, and final resort, American Career College (lol)

Southern Comfort, Green Apple Smirnoff, Jagermeister, Bacardi Razz, Absolut, Grey Goose, in that order.

Aquino's falsetto rocks any one else i know of.

The show's not in gahr, it's at russ middle school.

New Jam.

"big shit poppin" by T.I., or, in this particular song, T.I.P., gets you hyped for anything. period.

I put this on blast to the gym. Put it on repeat on the gym...and didn't realize until 2 hours later that I was actually tired. Hello, 1,100 calorie deficit. I ate pizza to compensate.

We meet everybody for a reason.

nipple circumference

so instead of studying. we're comparing.

you be the judge of what the hell this whole entry means

-________-"

Greetings, December.

I'd first like to note that it is a troublesome journey from CSULA to K-town if you are following a girl by the name of Regina Smalls. It is just impossible.

However, once getting to Manna Korean BBQ, all was demolished. I guess it was part of our finals celebration, even if we still have one final to go. I aced both Comm150 and Psych150 finals with ease. I guess I was really distracted when I was at the dorms in rside. Hell, i'd still live there if I had a chance though.

Oh, another thing on my xmas wishlist: money for my broken inverter cable on my macbook.

ah, this entry lacks continuity. well, i guess it reflects the month, as hectic and unorganized as it is.

I find it odd

when childhood friends grow up to be people you would have never thought they'd be.

sorority sisters?
party queens?

something told me that i wasn't supposed to be at that party in "selmar" or wherever the hell that city is. and good thing i didn't go.

rside friday? yes? yes?

Let it rain on me tonight

I'm just kidding.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

New current jam reflects my mood atm.

How much of yourself..

are you willing to keep private?

Blogs are agents to express one's inner-thoughts. To publish these thoughts is to open up to the world. What I don't understand, however, is the fact that so many people are dumb enough to not keep some thoughts and some awkward revelations, about themselves, well, private. So I ask, what is the use of having a secret blog with public entries?

Is the answer so some stranger can read your deepest secrets while your closest friends can't? Is it because you want attention, but not from people who know you (best, perhaps)? No. F*ck that. Please. Stop.

What is meant to be kept secret never exits the mind because the second it comes out of any orifice of your body, it ceases to be a secret and thus becomes knowledge of public domain. Do not become angry with me if I stumble upon "things my eyes were never meant to see." So excuse me for being "intrusive," and I'll excuse you for being the complete dumbf*ck that created your "private personal outlet," to analyze your thoughts. If it was truly private, then it clearly has no reason for being uploaded on the net.

Sorry. Harsh? Can't empathize. I find it very harrowing how I find these sort of things. It's not that I try. I laugh, though. The notion that bloggers feel secure in the comfort of their own home is a myth. Because what's security and comfort when one can easily find and discover every aspect of one other's life and mechanism of the mind with a click of the mouse.

You don't know me. You never will.

As for you, I know everything, though I wish I didn't.

taco hunting

http://tacohunt.blogspot.com/
http://yelp.com
http://chowhound.chow.com/boards/2

let's talk about youuuuu

i'll turn every bullet to a hershey's kiss
and we can eat away our fears! :D

i was once told

that only masters ride fixies. to everyone else, fixies ride them.

didn't take it into consideration.

helllloooo sprained ankle and crutches.

it's way too easy

to pass so much that you study.

it's also way too easy to study so much that you pass.

when these things synergize (i think it's a hybrid word) and become consistent,

you're at bliss.

fall quarter 2008 csula. check.

mate.

mothaf*cka i'm...

ill.

Morning Post #1: I tend to go on Music swings

It's kinda like mood swings. However, in my case, it involves music. I'm a generally giddy person.

For some reason I find it pleasure to listen to Lydia's vocals right after listening to Ratatat, but I feel awfully shameful if I listen to We The Kings right after hearing Lydia's immaculate vocals.

I then realize that this same juxtaposition occurs as well when I write and perform my music. During the writing process, my condition aforementioned would typically go as follows: Write a song on the piano (very aj rafael-esque), and then when it comes to the Macbook, it's either really electropop or extremely whack gangster hyphy music. (Anyone who wants to buy a reject beat for a buck, hit me up.) Also, when it comes to performing, I would rather play an acoustic set, given that Marlone is there. When I mean acoustic, I emphasize the usage of a guitar instead of a piano. So with my skills, or lack of skills, the chords allow me to mimic what I like to call "Randolph Riffs," otherwise noted in my mind as DoubleR.

I don't seem to find commonplace for my music, whether it's about listening, writing, or performing.

I woke up to line dancing music. My mom and a group of her friends are line dancing.

Anyways, time for the gym.

LA all day.

I found the open studio in the music building today on the second floor. It was complete with a sound booth, arrays of keyboards and condenser mics, and rows of the latest Mac Pros. I toyed with reason, ableton, pro-tools, and, of course, Logic Studio. None of which I found too simple to use, but Logic just blows the doors off the other music production softwares. I have to hand it to Apple for creating such a complete work of mastery which is relatively, and I stress "relatively," easy to use.

I then went with Jeremi to his apartment. And it was sick. I forgot what it was called, but it was hella spacious and feng-shui'd out. The obligatory jamming ensued up until 4pm, and it took us two hours and a half to get back to campus on that 10 mile journey. I've finally experienced true rush hour.

Tomorrow I don't have class but I'll go to the open lab. Before the lab I'm going to meet up at chino hills so cathryn can all drive us to Americana, which, apparently, is some snazzy outdoor mall comparable to The Grove but is located across the street from the Glendale Galleria. We're going to eat at Ichi-ban. I have no clue how much I'll be spending, but I'm expecting good food. Transition to LA isn't what I expected it to be. College is what you make out of it.

On a side note, Napp called me on my way back to campus in Jeremi's truck. In retrospect, I find it too odd that at that exact moment, two worlds clashed.

Bianchi Pista

Biking will be the next new trend.

"Fixies"

I got one.

http://mashsf.com/videos.php
watch the trailer. oh man.

Speech And Debate

Haven't updated in a while but yeah. Didn't know I was a master debator (lol) until this morning. I received a perfect score on the persuasive speech I delivered against music piracy. I was then informed by the communications department that I'm appointed to represent CSULA at some forensics (speech and debate) tournament in Long Beach, CA. I'm yet to find out all the details, but this is the least of my problems.

I have a swaying music swings. Sometimes a certain band comes along that revives your faith in alternative music (for me, the "emo" subgenre) even if it's for a short time. These short times in which you find yourself reminiscing to a day of carelessness and oblivious youth that used to be your own can potentially put a smile on your face. So I'd like to take the time to thank the countless of bands (mostly untalented, carbon-copy white guys playing the same music as the next group of white guys) that is keeping my roots alive.

Upcoming Shows:
Dec 6th, Cerritos. Gahr HS
Dec ?, Charity Concert for the victims and families affected by the latest firestorm

quick post

i have to get back at writing my speech for speech/debate.


i'd rock this.

that is all.

dunkxchange

was basically the same..

except a lot of new cats knew my name.

Midterm Round 2: UCR swag vs. CSULA steez

i'll make it short and sweet.

today was...omg

downtown la kick it spots > anywhere in a 10 mile radius of ucr

"you got me!" and "two heterosexual men..." were the phrases of the day.

note to self:
for 90% off the population of csula, and for 100% of filipnos at csula, cars are sanctuary if you're "ducking"

laslaff

Being at home almost 24/7 makes you stop and appreciate the little things that makes home home.

And I'm not saying structurally in a house or functionality in a family, just the odd quirks and anecdotes that make the 626 somewhat more interesting than it seems.

I went to CostCo today for gas only because it's guaranteed that it's around 10 cents cheaper than at other pumps, and there, cars form lines for the pumps. I was at the 2nd pump fueling up when a brand new Toyota Prius that was bought from Longo in the city of El Monte drove up behind me at the 1st pump.

The man that seemed to be at around his 40s had a disgruntled demeanor when he got out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

He takes out his wallet, swipes his card in the machine, and then looks at the price, and all I could remember hearing was,

"FUCK. 2.94? piece of shit prius."

Despite things like these happening, I think hybrid car owners will still have the last laugh. I'm not too fond of both presidential candidates, obama and mccain, but I'm sure one of them, when elected, will fuck up and thus Prius owners will get their money's worth.

I digress.

What's your Halloween plans?

secret passions and fine cuisine

I'm not sure if anyone back in riverside ever saw, but one of my bookmarks on my Opera and Camino internet browsers is yelp.com. It's basically a website in which you can input any location that sells a service, thing, or type of food, and what you will get are countless of reviews by people who have "yelped" this particular place.

I'm an avid yelper since late 07, and I've yelped 138 times.

I think I brought it up one time how Filipino restaurants are utter crap compared to other cultural bistros. Now don't get me wrong, I love filipino food. It is my culture. But to quote Kat, "[filipino] food just isn't that interesting." I guess being vegetarian, she is limited in her options with fine filipino cuisine. I digress.

But it isn't only that, and I can't really couldn't point my finger at what is wrong and why Filipino food just isn't as popular as, per se, thai food restaurants. Now to backtrack, Thai food was only introduced to me in I think early 2008 by a good friend, so excuse me if I seem like projecting some sort of hindsight bias when I continue talking about how Filipno restaurnts aren't too popular.

Well, back to yelp.com. Along with reviews, there are also many threads on yelp.com, and after searching up a restaurant that I was meaning to yelp for, for about a month, there was a related thread simply titled, "You Hate Filipno Food. Why?"

Most arguments and rebuttals were dumb, but true. But finally, some guy by the name of "AJ B." stated it clearly:

I'm filipino... you know why I don't like filipino restaurants?

1. Invest some damn money on the decor... I don't want to feel like I'm eating in halfway house.
2. I know you like watching the filipino channel, but does that have to happen within blaring earshot of the customers?
3. When I do go, I get looked down at because of how I look. I'm not your son or nephew. I can have purple, green or red hair and still make an amazing living. Don't look at me like I'm trespassing on your property.
4. I pretend like I don't speak the language, because, inevitably, I will be talked about... not behind my back, but right in front of my face. No thanks.

There are exceptions, of course, but since the thread topic is straight-up full of generalization, I'm just going with the flow.

Show me a Filipino restaurant that's decked out like as nice as a Thai restaurant (but with Filipino decor, of course); where the people are proud of their heritage and show it in the space and the ambiance; and are proud of their cuisine so they actually spend some time on presentation; where they are respectful of the clientelle and actually focus on good service... and I'm there. 5 stars on yelp, even.

He brings up several good points, and I really can't counter any of them. I then realize that this is exactly why no one raves about "DJ Bibinkahan," or "Pinoy Pinay," as they do for "Sweetey Hut," of West Covina or "Thai Specialty 2 (lol)" located in Rowland Heights.

As for telling him about a Filipino place that is as "decked out as nice as a Thai restaurant," however, Pondahan Fusion Bar, Cafe, and Grill is definitely the spot. Too bad this restaurant is the only place where the trifecta of impeccable service, food, and price come together at a Filipino food joint.

5 stars. even.

Quest or Boxcutters?

My friend lydia is doing abdc. She'll be auditioning with two groups. Both groups already have respected names in the hip-hop dance scene as they are powerhouses at bodyrock, fusion, and ultimate brawl. however, if both teams make it to the live auditions, she'll have to choose one to stick with and represent.

lydia is bomb at singing at dancing, but in my opinion, if both teams do make it, she should be siding with boxcutters. quest is like super cr3w on steroids, and that can be a good and bad thing. boxcutters is another one of those typical azn/college dance crews, but i digress. she's content with both styles, but i'd rather see some choreo heads win abdc this year.

love is a dangerous thing

haven't you noticed how time flies?

already prepping for my 2nd midterm on monday. got damn.

I passed my chem entrance exam with flying colors, scoring a 25 out of 27 when all i needed to pass to get into chem 151 is a 14. I am quite content with that accomplishment. speaking of prerequisites, everyone has to listen to pete philly and the perquisite. 

but i digress.

i'm enjoying my responsibility.

retention is not my forte

I always find pretty witty and insightful things to say on my blog during various times of the day. However, every time I get on this thing, I forget what to say, and I talk about something completely different than what I meant to write.  That happened yesterday with my Kanye tangent, even if I did think "Heartless," was/is a pretty cool song.

Anyway, I've been repping riverside a lot lately, through that infamous purple shirt that some swear they've seen around ucla, and my maroon riverside pullover hoodie. 

Usually, I wouldn't write about what I wear to school, but yesterday was sorta cool in the fact that the two people that noticed that my sweater didn't say "CAL STATE UNIVERSITY LOS ANGELES," but was "UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA RIVERSIDE," commented on how Riverside "parties pretty hard," or how Riverside is a "total party school," and that came from my lab TA.

That's why I make it a point that I'll only drink in Rside, and nowhere else. Perhaps because it's more honorable that way. 

lol @ 60 acre elephant sanctuary in downtown Los Angeles.

swagger talk

so i heard about a week ago that during the listening party of kanye's new album, there were 50 naked ladies in the middle of a warehouse somewhere in downtown LA. sources are reliable (radio, maybe kanye's blog..i don't really keep up), so I believe it.

Now the same sources tell me that all songs will be like Love Lockdown. Auto-tune and all singing. At first I was skeptical on how successful the tracks will be, but I finally heard the second single off the album.

And it did not disappoint. I don't know the title yet, but I'm looking it up once I write this entry. All I remember was "How could you be so heartless?"

What did disappoint, however, is the new haircut.

Wishlist 2008

1. Navi

2. Tint

3. GTS upgrade

4. 10 or 12 sub

5. amp

6. logic 8

7. scorch

8. HID bulb

9. android t-mobile

10. affliction shit

thanks napp for calling me the other day.

note to self.

there's no pride in a front.

there's no pride in a thing you're good at if no one cares about what you're good at.

there's no pride in imaginary goals, achievements, or past accolades that were a figment of your imagination.

there's no pride in succumbing to memories that never were.

there's no pride in being second best.

note to self:

drink only in rside. and only in rside.

ditty

no need to say my name 

i know they jockin my steez

and the way i spit so cold

they call me mr. freeze

so a couple of interesting things happened today. apparently my fil-am music speech is nominated to be presented in front of the communications department at csula. also, i met a couple of new people..which means jam sessions every wednesday.

also.

Mu Xi Kappa

if you can decipher it's meaning then pat yourself on the back.

raccoon eyes

so if real eyes realize real lies, then why does it seem to me that my eyes as fake as those of a person who has just met me.

but i digress on the poetic devices. i'm not very good.

i finally wrote a new song.

i'm going to riverside on friday.

Life's full of coincidences

and I'm sure if anyone got a dime for every time they've ever heard that phrase before, we wouldn't be in such an economical crisis right now, but that's besides the point.

I dreamed about my grandma's friend, Lola Nena, at some sort of debut, and earlier today, I got to visit her. I haven't seen her in years.

I started thinking about people in Riverside, and just a couple of hours ago, I caught up with my old co-worker, Vince, at CSULA.

Finally..some inspiration for a song.

"Untitled"

You said so long

And I didn't even catch your name

Keep holding on,

But I'd rather never feel the same

prechorus

See now I'm three thousand miles away from home

which means you're three thousand miles away from me

Distant memories come to life in faded dreams

chorus

Only time will tell

Only time will tell

Only time will tell

To fall asleep faster

is a moment with you

and any moment hereafter

is another disaster

prechorus

chorus

So I hope you can hear this melody

from three thousand miles away

And if I ever forget to breathe

I just ran out of things to say

Na-par-det Da-ta-jar-rauht-sri, is how I say it.

I have to deliver a speech on monday of next week.

I also have two midterms that same day.

:] I'm up for it.

Today was awkward in a way that I wasn't being my "CSULA" self. I found myself doing things I used to do during my first year of college. This activity includes: acting a fool in public eating places, scouring the entire campus for the cleanest and safest restroom to poo in (safe as in knowing you won't get walked in on), making new friends (one of which knows Czierel (spl?) Madly), and actually started thinking about starting up Pi Rho Phi again as an Awareness fraternity. Sounds lame, but I thought of it this way: we're doing much more of a grand thing when our reach does not only affect the areas surrounding us, like how Alpha Phi Omega primarily does community service. 

As brothers (and perhaps, sisters), of Pi Rho Phi, we dedicate ourselves to the service of others, not only in areas covering a  few miles radius, but worldwide, and this is why our fraternity stands out in this Greek system. 

--yeah, I actually wrote that on the paper that may or may not charter the fraternity to CSULA.

Pi Rho Phi: Today's youth. Tomorrow's Leaders.

bwahahaha. I hope no one googles this and finds this shit laying around.

Something Inherent

People who are just too good at something should be discovered. However, it's the same people that I look up to that discourages me thinking that I would never be as good as them.

Enough about my insecurities though.

little piece of home

little thing i know. i don't want to be alone.

Hm. I think it's one of those songs I wish I wrote, and I know I could've, but inspiration hasn't hit me yet.

More later. Happy Birthday, Lola!

Finally!

Well, I'm not saying this is necessarily a good or bad thing, but life at CSULA has finally become, well, routine.

I don't say this in regretful manner, however, only because I think it's about time for me to accept the fact that "college life," is, in a loose sense, over for me. Parties, kickbacks, and "pizza socials," are a thing of the past, and it's time for me to embrace the simpler things in life such as...

rekindling memories with high school friends that go to commuting schools, the comfort of home, going to a fitness club instead of an on-campus gym, not making 25+ friends daily, and so forth.

I can't honestly say I regret making my decision to go to CSULA, because it's only week 3, and I know my bitching will end sooner or later. The main thing to worry about are "practicals," which seems to be the term used in lieu of "midterms," in CSULA.

Fancy that.

..and i'll be ready to party. ain't nothing like them summer nights.

Nothing annoys me more at the gym than....

Well, take a guess. Go ahead.

No, it's not cocky sweaty muscley men. And no, it's not slow walking obese women that take forever to use an elliptical machine.

It's actually when you need to fart while on a cardio machine but you know you might shard, so you have to cut your work out session early to go home because the bathrooms in the locker room is just too dirty to use. Gah.

Speaking of the gym though, I signed up for 24 Hour Fitness' "The Biggest Loser" contest. Basically, when you sign up they measure your weight, height, and approximate body fat ratio. The person who loses the most body fat percentage by December 30th is the winner, and the grand prize is some sort of calorie counter, and 5 free sessions with some trainers. I think it's the right kick in the ass to get me more motivated than I already am.

I walked out of the gym today, and I can't help but notice that the smell of summer barely reached so cal.

The season's lagging it, and I want my winter solstice.

Under a microscope

I admit that I'm a little too forgiving. Not that I forgive a lot..I just feel like I forgive too easily. Ok, nevermind, I do forgive a lot as well.

I let things slide. I let things happen that disappointment me, but I do not make a big deal out of it. I try my damn hardest to be good to everyone, but once I make one little mistake, the world hates me. And usually it just starts off as disappointing one person, but then the shit quickly hits the fan and all the burdens of the universe start crashing down on me.

Hell, if I ever gotten mad over some honest mistake, it would only vex me no more than two minutes. I understand people make mistakes. People should understand that I do too.

But then again, not everyone is me.

I am not giving up

I know I've said it a million times before, but trust me.

185 lbs by January of 2009. Best believe it.

Before going to bed..

It's depressing to think that people close to you are changing in the worst way. No, it's not changing in a sense that, the person is turning into a bad or moody person. It's changing in a sense that these people are just throwing it all away, as if they've given up trying to be happy in life.

People get stuck in ruts all the time, and they get through it; but it's only because they have the will power to persevere and conquer the obstacles that come with "life-changing" (i'm using the term very loosely, btw) occurrences such as heartbreak, loss of friends, decreased value of health, etc.

I tried getting one of my closest friends out of the rut he's still swimming in, and despite the facade and his ability to seem happy, I know he's just acting in his new fashion because he's troubled. I hope and pray that he gets out soon before he really gets hurt. And that's from a friend.

no homo

UCR won

I find myself in various situations when I should have brought my guitar. Today was one of those days, and I had a choice between doing karaoke night or go to UCR for the yearly block party.

I missed out on the roots, but at least I got to sing a little bit with shadd, franz, and ace. however, that hardly compensates for anything.

I like living at home, but I like living away more.

I guess that's what it all comes down to.

Don't get it twisted

I'm not going to cheat anymore. I'll make sure by the time 2009 comes, I'm 185 or less. Eat three times a day, work out tuesday, thursday, friday, saturday, and sunday. I'll take supplements if I feel the need to.

I put it down, now.

On a whim

It would be typical of me to write a fake blog about how I randomly got up and went longboarding today on a whim, and then pretend to reflect upon it, stating that it must be "that time of year again." I'd then make it a point to pointlessly reminisce about good times at UCR, and how Cal State LA is and "will never be," like my time at UCR. I digress though.

Only because living life is about walking forward, not dwelling back in the footsteps you've imprinted in the hearts of others.

Side Notation

I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have someone to care for me as much as my girlfriend does.

Guys will be guys, and single guys will always front like they enjoy "the freedom." I don't understand the context in which they would state that because the way I see it, it is the most "freedom" you can get when you immerse yourself into somebody else's life while they're doing likewise. Perhaps, these single guys, and I mean the single guys that holler at girls all the time--the ones that give cute girls rude comments and intentionally disengages any knowledge on how to be a gentlemen when he's in the company of his friends-- or those single guys that only want a quick fuck, put up a front because they know that a meaningful relationship is what they're longing for.

I'm sure among all the "dwellers" of the 626, I'm the most introvert. I can almost guarantee it.

This time around

I'll sincerely try to update this thing as much as I can. With so much going on that is bound to be forgotten, I'll have to write it down to acknowledge its significance before it hadn't any at all. Aj and Napp update religiously; I should too.

I generally wouldn't consider myself a shy person. I hardly think anyone thinks of me in that way, but at CSULA, for some reason, I am. I know I'm not exactly trying to start anew, but I kinda find it ridiculous how I can't put out my hand in the act of introduction as easily as I would've at UCR.

Me changing? I think not. Me being a pussy about things? That's more like it.

On a brighter note, I am at the top of my game...academically.